A bad parent

There are days when I feel like a failure as a parent. Today was one of those. Now, let’s not talk about days when I feel like a bad wife or else we’ll be talking the whole night.

And now for the excuses…

… I actually have none. The yayas went home for a break yesterday mid-morning. Yesterday was okay. Today was not. I yelled (a lot), I spanked some, and I rolled my eyeballs. I also walked out and threw things. Writing it down right now makes it even worse to me. It appears as though I am the preschooler having one of my worst tantrums. Hay. Will the kids ever forgive me? More importantly, will the kids ever forget?

I am a work in progress. Rather, I’m like one of those DPWH projects with a sign that says, “Caution: Men Working” when everyone sees and knows that no work is ever being done. It’s really bad. I want to run to the kids’ room right now and give each of them a kiss and really tight hugs. But that would wake them up and hubby might get mad ‘cause it took a while for him to make the kids go to sleep.

I feel stressed, tired, worried, and not happy. I am way behind my review timetable. The yayas did not come back today as they promised. My sister still has not given birth. As to my readings, I have been stuck in the same topic for the 3rd day today And tomorrow, my in-laws are coming over and hubby invited them to have breakfast here and I don’t know when the yayas are coming and so we have to prepare them a decent meal and the in-laws might see me at my worst. Heaven, help me! Lord, please come to my rescue. Please help me be a better mom, a better wife, a better daughter, a better daughter-in-law, a better employer, and a better student/examinee.