I feel terribly sad when I think of the many times I have yelled and gotten mad at the kids this past week. They were getting on my nerves. All the yelling, the mess, the mundane demands that needed to be met ASAP. I was sick and tired.
Now I realize how truly sick I am to have let my selfish id rule over my mind and my heart. Time flies. The kids are growing up right before my eyes. In a few years, they would stop running to me, expecting me to help them with every whim. They would stop asking me to help them tie their shoelaces for the nth time.
I am truly sorry and now promise myself to start cleaning up my act. As an old classmate of mine posted on his Facebook status: "Life is very short... there is no time for BS".
I will love my kids more. I will love them. I will treat them with respect. I will treat them well.
Monday, November 30, 2009
On Fiestas
Fiestas are a fascinating thing.
As I sat on the bus, I noticed that we slowed down to a crawl. I continued to look out the window and saw that there were more tambays than usual. Maybe because today's a holiday, I thought. Then, one by one, I saw the signs.
There were babies clad in those, white, lacy, itchy-looking things. Young ladies appeared to be wearing their nicest blouses (with wide belts and leggings to boot... are belts back?). And the ultimate sign - people sitting on plastic stools and chairs on verandas, clutching plates filled to the brim on one hand while they expertly try to eat with the other hand (using a spoon).
There were men sitting around tables with lambanog/beer and green mangoes, among other pulutans (horrors! will the green mango not give them a tummy ache?). they looked oh-so relaxed and happy.
And the numerous "kawa" (very large wok) perched on rocks and firewood... ahh. There were no banderitas in sight but it was a fiesta alright. Just to confirm my suspicions, the banda came into view. They wore brightly colored gear and were playing a happy tune; the pretty maidens were holding their batons (majorettes, they're called) and were trying their best to smile while getting sunburnt.
Plus toms of trinkets and cheap toys for sale. A happy time for kids, for everyone.
I remember when i was little, fiestas were the time when they bought me this tiny set of palayok fruits perched on a tiny but very real-looking... uh, palayok. I wonder if they still make those.
As I sat on the bus, I noticed that we slowed down to a crawl. I continued to look out the window and saw that there were more tambays than usual. Maybe because today's a holiday, I thought. Then, one by one, I saw the signs.
There were babies clad in those, white, lacy, itchy-looking things. Young ladies appeared to be wearing their nicest blouses (with wide belts and leggings to boot... are belts back?). And the ultimate sign - people sitting on plastic stools and chairs on verandas, clutching plates filled to the brim on one hand while they expertly try to eat with the other hand (using a spoon).
There were men sitting around tables with lambanog/beer and green mangoes, among other pulutans (horrors! will the green mango not give them a tummy ache?). they looked oh-so relaxed and happy.
And the numerous "kawa" (very large wok) perched on rocks and firewood... ahh. There were no banderitas in sight but it was a fiesta alright. Just to confirm my suspicions, the banda came into view. They wore brightly colored gear and were playing a happy tune; the pretty maidens were holding their batons (majorettes, they're called) and were trying their best to smile while getting sunburnt.
Plus toms of trinkets and cheap toys for sale. A happy time for kids, for everyone.
I remember when i was little, fiestas were the time when they bought me this tiny set of palayok fruits perched on a tiny but very real-looking... uh, palayok. I wonder if they still make those.
It's The Little Things
One would think that after a loved one has died, you would remember him for all the big and important events. It's not the case, well, at least for me.
I barely remember our dance on my wedding day. But I do remember how we almost laughed our eyeballs out over something very petty, I wouldn't dare write about it here; it'll be out of context and I don't want to risk sounding shallow. Or how, when I was a little kid, he showed me an imprint made on a piece of clay. He made me guess which object made that distinct imprint (it was from the design engraved on his wedding band).
One time, at home after his chemotherapy, we both couldn't fall asleep. In the middle of the night, he and I drove out for some balut, using his need to buy some medications from a 24-hour drugstore as an excuse. We greedily wolfed down our balut (3 for him, 2 for me).
It's the little things I miss the most. I miss you, Daddy.
I barely remember our dance on my wedding day. But I do remember how we almost laughed our eyeballs out over something very petty, I wouldn't dare write about it here; it'll be out of context and I don't want to risk sounding shallow. Or how, when I was a little kid, he showed me an imprint made on a piece of clay. He made me guess which object made that distinct imprint (it was from the design engraved on his wedding band).
One time, at home after his chemotherapy, we both couldn't fall asleep. In the middle of the night, he and I drove out for some balut, using his need to buy some medications from a 24-hour drugstore as an excuse. We greedily wolfed down our balut (3 for him, 2 for me).
It's the little things I miss the most. I miss you, Daddy.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Of Taxes and Anchovies
I am pissed off. Really pissed off.
I received a text message from my accountant, asking if I filed my ITR for 2008. She is in the process of registering my clinics. Without skipping a beat, I said I didn’t because I had been in training for the past four years with no pay. What she said next annoyed me to the max. She asked whether I didn’t practice during that time. What irked me the most was that it seemed like she herself doubted whether I really did not. Like she couldn’t and wouldn’t believe it. Is this the first time she’s met someone who’s had to train for many years before finally being able to start practice? I wonder.
For the past 6 weeks, I have been doing my best effort to get an accountant who can register me so I can have my receipts already. I had to give up on the first because apparently he was too busy and took days before he returning my text messages/calls. (He was a CPA/lawyer). Finally, I was referred to this one, a very nice lady, soft-spoken and efficient. But she doubted me and I’m pissed.
After years of toiling with no benefits, and working long hours, caring for poor patients with no decent wage, I get accused of tax evasion?! Ako ang mandaraya? C’mon! All I really want and need is to get those darn receipts and start my paying taxes already. Kaya wala tayong asenso. Instead of running after the big sharks (and there’s lots of them), people waste their time fussing over tiny anchovies like me.
But now that I think about it, can I blame her? Pag naglipana ang mga magnanakaw at mandaraya, ang hindi gumagawa ng masama ang nagmumukhang suspechoso. People are jaded. Siguro sa dami ng mga negosyo-slash-doktor-slash-establismyento na dala-dalawa ang libro e nagmumukha nang norm. Bwiset talaga. How do I prove to her/them na wala talaga akong trabaho at pinapagkakitaan noon? Na for the past so many years ay palamunin ako ng butihin kong asawa (actually hanggang ngayon). Dapat bang idineclare ko ang kakarampot na stipend na pinaghirapang ipamalimos ng mga boss para sa amin mula sa mga drug company? Karampot na stipend na inaabot ng 4 hanggang 8 buwan bago namin makuha? Stipend yun e, sabi ng mga kasama ko, therefore tax-free. Pathetic. Grrr...
I received a text message from my accountant, asking if I filed my ITR for 2008. She is in the process of registering my clinics. Without skipping a beat, I said I didn’t because I had been in training for the past four years with no pay. What she said next annoyed me to the max. She asked whether I didn’t practice during that time. What irked me the most was that it seemed like she herself doubted whether I really did not. Like she couldn’t and wouldn’t believe it. Is this the first time she’s met someone who’s had to train for many years before finally being able to start practice? I wonder.
For the past 6 weeks, I have been doing my best effort to get an accountant who can register me so I can have my receipts already. I had to give up on the first because apparently he was too busy and took days before he returning my text messages/calls. (He was a CPA/lawyer). Finally, I was referred to this one, a very nice lady, soft-spoken and efficient. But she doubted me and I’m pissed.
After years of toiling with no benefits, and working long hours, caring for poor patients with no decent wage, I get accused of tax evasion?! Ako ang mandaraya? C’mon! All I really want and need is to get those darn receipts and start my paying taxes already. Kaya wala tayong asenso. Instead of running after the big sharks (and there’s lots of them), people waste their time fussing over tiny anchovies like me.
But now that I think about it, can I blame her? Pag naglipana ang mga magnanakaw at mandaraya, ang hindi gumagawa ng masama ang nagmumukhang suspechoso. People are jaded. Siguro sa dami ng mga negosyo-slash-doktor-slash-establismyento na dala-dalawa ang libro e nagmumukha nang norm. Bwiset talaga. How do I prove to her/them na wala talaga akong trabaho at pinapagkakitaan noon? Na for the past so many years ay palamunin ako ng butihin kong asawa (actually hanggang ngayon). Dapat bang idineclare ko ang kakarampot na stipend na pinaghirapang ipamalimos ng mga boss para sa amin mula sa mga drug company? Karampot na stipend na inaabot ng 4 hanggang 8 buwan bago namin makuha? Stipend yun e, sabi ng mga kasama ko, therefore tax-free. Pathetic. Grrr...
Thursday, November 19, 2009
More About Planners
I am pretty excited about my new planner, not only because of the countless reasons I mentioned in my last post. I am excited because next month, I will be starting my practice (3 clinics, in 3 different cities, 5 days a week) full blast. December, I suspect, would be like a “soft opening” because of the holidays. People are usually not too keen on having themselves checked during the holidays because they tend to be more concerned with parties, and shopping, and reunions, etc. Most aches and pains can wait until the turn of the year. Plus, I’m a fledgling so I am just being realistic; referrals and patients are not going to come pouring in. So new year, new planner, new chapter in my life.
I dream of filling up my planner with meetings, lectures, me-time projects, and patient appointments. Actually, I still have not decided regarding the last one; don’t patient stuff – appointments for BMA, chemotherapy protocols and schedules – merit a separate notebook?
I do have a few more spare pocket notebooks in my closet, not to mention an A5 binder, an A4 2009 notebook that I intend to recycle, and a Franklin Covey (yes, Franklin!) - a hand-me-down, albeit unused, from hubby. That last one I’m pretty excited about though I have not the slightest inkling what to do with it. It’s A5 and has this gorgeous dark brown leather cover, with two pages per day. The left side has a space for a prioritized daily task list (quite a mouthful), a daily tracker (for email, expenses, etc), and the appointment schedule (with a couple of lines for each hour, from 8 am to 8 pm… especially made for the workaholic). The right side is a beautiful expanse of a lined page for daily notes - scribbles, meeting agendas, mind-mapping and what-not. Plus, there’s a quote for each day, mostly related to work and productivity. It’s 2009 and I do want to recycle it for 2010. I just don’t know exactly what to do with it. Do I use it for patients’ notes? I have their clinic medical records for that purpose. Besides, it cannot be easy lugging around this huge binder from one clinic/city to another, regardless of whether I drive or take the bus.
Oh, let me not forget about the spare filofax in my drawer. It’s smaller than the Franklin, only about 5 x 7 inches. I have a couple of packs of loose page refills (lined, for notes). But the filofax’s one-page-per-week layout does not appeal to me. I am a vertical writer. As a student, I loved lengthwise pad paper. I’d often fold a paper in half and write in columns. When I need to use a whole page, my writing barely reaches the right side of the paper.
I do not know of a single friend (real friend, not a Facebook friend) who shares my silly passion for all things paper, notebook, and stationery. Which is why I love wasting precious time surfing blogs such as http://notebookaddict.com, http://unclutterer.com, or http://officesupplygeek.com plus many, many other sites. Though miles apart, people who loiter around these sites and I are kindred spirits. We go through life one (or a few) notebooks at a time.
I dream of filling up my planner with meetings, lectures, me-time projects, and patient appointments. Actually, I still have not decided regarding the last one; don’t patient stuff – appointments for BMA, chemotherapy protocols and schedules – merit a separate notebook?
I do have a few more spare pocket notebooks in my closet, not to mention an A5 binder, an A4 2009 notebook that I intend to recycle, and a Franklin Covey (yes, Franklin!) - a hand-me-down, albeit unused, from hubby. That last one I’m pretty excited about though I have not the slightest inkling what to do with it. It’s A5 and has this gorgeous dark brown leather cover, with two pages per day. The left side has a space for a prioritized daily task list (quite a mouthful), a daily tracker (for email, expenses, etc), and the appointment schedule (with a couple of lines for each hour, from 8 am to 8 pm… especially made for the workaholic). The right side is a beautiful expanse of a lined page for daily notes - scribbles, meeting agendas, mind-mapping and what-not. Plus, there’s a quote for each day, mostly related to work and productivity. It’s 2009 and I do want to recycle it for 2010. I just don’t know exactly what to do with it. Do I use it for patients’ notes? I have their clinic medical records for that purpose. Besides, it cannot be easy lugging around this huge binder from one clinic/city to another, regardless of whether I drive or take the bus.
Oh, let me not forget about the spare filofax in my drawer. It’s smaller than the Franklin, only about 5 x 7 inches. I have a couple of packs of loose page refills (lined, for notes). But the filofax’s one-page-per-week layout does not appeal to me. I am a vertical writer. As a student, I loved lengthwise pad paper. I’d often fold a paper in half and write in columns. When I need to use a whole page, my writing barely reaches the right side of the paper.
I do not know of a single friend (real friend, not a Facebook friend) who shares my silly passion for all things paper, notebook, and stationery. Which is why I love wasting precious time surfing blogs such as http://notebookaddict.com, http://unclutterer.com, or http://officesupplygeek.com plus many, many other sites. Though miles apart, people who loiter around these sites and I are kindred spirits. We go through life one (or a few) notebooks at a time.
The Perfect Planner
Yehey! Today I have crossed out most of the urgent and/or important tasks on my to-do list. Some of them were musts that have been bugging me for days, even weeks (BIR, printing jobs,birthday presents for my sister, etc.). Others were errands – stuff related to the kids’ school activities, things to buy for an uncle, etc.
But the real highlight of my day was (okay, brace yourself… here comes the geekiness) having chanced upon the most perfect planner!
For more than two weeks, I have had this nagging, almost irrational urge to start hacking my spare notebook into a 2010 planner. It’s a black, pocket-size, lined Scribe notebook (a Moleskine knock-off) that has been sitting in the darkest corner of my closet for months. Inspired by things I’ve stumbled upon during hours of mindless web surfing, I wanted to turn it into a year of 2-pages-a-week planner with lots of spare pages for to-do lists, notes, and scribbles. More pressing demands (like sleep, for instance) have been keeping me from diving in.
I have made a few visits to my favorite bookstore and somehow the planners that were available then did not suit my needs. They were either too small, or too bulky, or downright unattractive, or too expensive. And none of them had enough space (at the end of the year) for notes. Once, I managed to gather enough courage to check out those red Moleskine 18-month planners but I can never make myself spend that much money for a notebook, no matter how fancy it is.
But today… ahhh. I cannot hide this silly grin on my face. I went to National Bookstore for some laminating jobs and found this:
It’s black, covered with decent-looking faux leather. It’s the right size – handy yet has enough space for each day for important dates, meetings, and tasks.
The paper quality is good enough for me as I only use ball-point pens or a mechanical pencil for writing. The bonus part was the second half of the planner which comprised of pages and pages of lined notes. I plan to split these into two parts using sticky tabs – To-do Lists and Notes/Important Things to Remember.
I am optimistic that these notes would be enough to last me through the year as I have a separate Hipster PDA for (3 x 5 index cards held together by a carabiner) that I use for special lists and MITs.
And here’s the best part: it’s very cheap. Only 79 pesos (or about one and a half dollars) and it’s locally made! It’s such a great steal… makes me look forward to a great year ahead.
But the real highlight of my day was (okay, brace yourself… here comes the geekiness) having chanced upon the most perfect planner!
For more than two weeks, I have had this nagging, almost irrational urge to start hacking my spare notebook into a 2010 planner. It’s a black, pocket-size, lined Scribe notebook (a Moleskine knock-off) that has been sitting in the darkest corner of my closet for months. Inspired by things I’ve stumbled upon during hours of mindless web surfing, I wanted to turn it into a year of 2-pages-a-week planner with lots of spare pages for to-do lists, notes, and scribbles. More pressing demands (like sleep, for instance) have been keeping me from diving in.
I have made a few visits to my favorite bookstore and somehow the planners that were available then did not suit my needs. They were either too small, or too bulky, or downright unattractive, or too expensive. And none of them had enough space (at the end of the year) for notes. Once, I managed to gather enough courage to check out those red Moleskine 18-month planners but I can never make myself spend that much money for a notebook, no matter how fancy it is.
But today… ahhh. I cannot hide this silly grin on my face. I went to National Bookstore for some laminating jobs and found this:
It’s black, covered with decent-looking faux leather. It’s the right size – handy yet has enough space for each day for important dates, meetings, and tasks.
The paper quality is good enough for me as I only use ball-point pens or a mechanical pencil for writing. The bonus part was the second half of the planner which comprised of pages and pages of lined notes. I plan to split these into two parts using sticky tabs – To-do Lists and Notes/Important Things to Remember.
I am optimistic that these notes would be enough to last me through the year as I have a separate Hipster PDA for (3 x 5 index cards held together by a carabiner) that I use for special lists and MITs.
And here’s the best part: it’s very cheap. Only 79 pesos (or about one and a half dollars) and it’s locally made! It’s such a great steal… makes me look forward to a great year ahead.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Fruitful Day
I am up early because hubby had left very early for the airport for a business trip. Nawala antok ko so I decided to say my prayers and a rosary for his safe trip.
Yesterday was a good day and napahiya ako kay Lord kasi pinagbigyan N’ya na naman ako matapos kong ngumawa nang ngumawa. Tinuturuan N’ya talaga ako to be patient and to put my full trust in Him. As I awoke yesterday to the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen (care of hubby), I felt mild pain on my right temple. At that moment, I decided to lie in bed and nurse that headache, possibly the whole morning. I’m guessing that headache was because of the multitude of things that I have been worrying and fretting about (needlessly, as usual).
Mid-morning, I received a text message from my would-be secretary (naks!) and was told that the accountant… THE accountant is at the hospital today. Wow! Nawala ang sakit ng ulo ko. Thankfully, hubby was willing to bump off the plans he has made so that he can come with me and teach me (again) the directions to the hospital. So we bundled our three kulits and I drove to Laguna, leaving our yayas behind to rest.
The accountant was very pleasant and her rates were better than most I’ve heard of. Medyo malaki lang nagastos ko initially because I had to register all three clinics so times three yung initial gastos. I had to rush to two nearby ATMs but all were off-line. She was gracious enough to accept a check as payment and hubby was very generous enough to take care of the payment for me (more than 5 thou). Yehey! Thanks to hubby and to God. The accountant says my registration should be done within a week and she says my receipts should be available before I start my clinic at their hospital next month.
The drive to Laguna was relatively easy and it didn’t take too long. I think I can do it on my own. I mean, on a regular basis. Kaya naman. The toll fees were considerable though. One hundred and ten (65 for skyway plus 45) to and then 76 pabalik.
While I was settling things, hubby was able to get a car sticker from the security guard for me. Nakita ko na lang dinidikit na nila. Ang bait nung mga tao doon. Very accommodating sila. I was surprised that the guard, though he initially asked daw for papers to show that I was indeed affiliated, took hubby’s word for it.
After the stint with the accountant, I was very, very happy for having accomplished that task that has been bugging me for weeeeks. We drove off to the nearby Pavilion Mall and had lunch at, you guessed it… Jollibee! We availed of the BPI promo so nakatipid nang konti. The kids were happy; it was their first time at the Pavilion. I was feeling quite pleased, too. Hubby and I can imagine living our lives there, parang nakaka-at home doon. Later, the Little One had to poop so she and I went upstairs to the mall restroom and, thankfully, I had some wipes left in my bag.
After we had finished lunch, the Little Girl said it was her turn to poop. I ran out of wipes so I left her with hubby and dragged the Little Boy to the supermarket to buy some. While we were at it, I was very pleased to find the kids’ shampoo which was not available at SM nor Shopwise. It was very cheap and smelled great on the kids’ hair so I grabbed two big bottles. In the meantime, hubby was texting because the Little Girl was badly in need of the wipes already. Rush, rush, rush… wash. Ah, the little stresses and inconveniences of parenthood. Instead of giving in my to tendency to be irked, I thought these are what make parenthood an exciting adventure.
After some dessert at Dunkin’ (coffee for hubby), we drove around the place to scout for some schools for the kids next year. We were quite pleased with a couple of schools we saw. One was particularly impressive and I was awed by the beauty of the surrounding scenery. Their soccer field was nestled right amidst beautiful, lush mountains. What a blessing it would be if our kids can grow up in such a beautiful surrounding. For a while, I worried, too about the kids coping to this big change of moving to a “big” school. Their school right now is such a small community, almost everybody knows everyone else.
After that, we visited our lot at V____. It was a very quiet and peaceful Saturday afternoon. We let the kids play at the playgound/clubhouse for a while. The Little One was tearful as we climbed to our car. She so wanted to swim in the pool but we did not bring any extra clothes. We then drove around a bit, admiring the pretty houses and just taking in the calm of the surroundings.
The whole experience reminded me of the suburbs in the States (based on my friends’ pictures and on what I see on TV, at least). I felt very grateful that we were on our way to achieving this dream. I thanked God for such a blessing and prayed that He would continue to bless us with this gift. I was particularly thankful that hubby and I need not leave our country to be able to enjoy such blessings. We were right at home.
We then braced ourselves for the trip back home. The traffic was heavy and the kids, particularly the Little One was getting irritable and began looking for her yaya. Good thing she fell asleep. I realized it was not easy driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic and my right quads hurt. I did not complain. Silently, I told myself that this was something I had to learn to contend with for the next half-year. Twice a week wouldn’t be so bad. If I needed to go more than twice a week, it would mean having referrals and that would be something to be thankful for.
I’m supposed to start my other clinic next weekend but since my reciepts aren’t ready yet, I hope to be able to ask the secretaries if I can start by December instead.
Oh, I forgot to tell you that the layout for my prescription pads and business cards have been finally sent to me. They looked okay. I can’t wait to get my hands on them.
Yesterday was a good day and napahiya ako kay Lord kasi pinagbigyan N’ya na naman ako matapos kong ngumawa nang ngumawa. Tinuturuan N’ya talaga ako to be patient and to put my full trust in Him. As I awoke yesterday to the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen (care of hubby), I felt mild pain on my right temple. At that moment, I decided to lie in bed and nurse that headache, possibly the whole morning. I’m guessing that headache was because of the multitude of things that I have been worrying and fretting about (needlessly, as usual).
Mid-morning, I received a text message from my would-be secretary (naks!) and was told that the accountant… THE accountant is at the hospital today. Wow! Nawala ang sakit ng ulo ko. Thankfully, hubby was willing to bump off the plans he has made so that he can come with me and teach me (again) the directions to the hospital. So we bundled our three kulits and I drove to Laguna, leaving our yayas behind to rest.
The accountant was very pleasant and her rates were better than most I’ve heard of. Medyo malaki lang nagastos ko initially because I had to register all three clinics so times three yung initial gastos. I had to rush to two nearby ATMs but all were off-line. She was gracious enough to accept a check as payment and hubby was very generous enough to take care of the payment for me (more than 5 thou). Yehey! Thanks to hubby and to God. The accountant says my registration should be done within a week and she says my receipts should be available before I start my clinic at their hospital next month.
The drive to Laguna was relatively easy and it didn’t take too long. I think I can do it on my own. I mean, on a regular basis. Kaya naman. The toll fees were considerable though. One hundred and ten (65 for skyway plus 45) to and then 76 pabalik.
While I was settling things, hubby was able to get a car sticker from the security guard for me. Nakita ko na lang dinidikit na nila. Ang bait nung mga tao doon. Very accommodating sila. I was surprised that the guard, though he initially asked daw for papers to show that I was indeed affiliated, took hubby’s word for it.
After the stint with the accountant, I was very, very happy for having accomplished that task that has been bugging me for weeeeks. We drove off to the nearby Pavilion Mall and had lunch at, you guessed it… Jollibee! We availed of the BPI promo so nakatipid nang konti. The kids were happy; it was their first time at the Pavilion. I was feeling quite pleased, too. Hubby and I can imagine living our lives there, parang nakaka-at home doon. Later, the Little One had to poop so she and I went upstairs to the mall restroom and, thankfully, I had some wipes left in my bag.
After we had finished lunch, the Little Girl said it was her turn to poop. I ran out of wipes so I left her with hubby and dragged the Little Boy to the supermarket to buy some. While we were at it, I was very pleased to find the kids’ shampoo which was not available at SM nor Shopwise. It was very cheap and smelled great on the kids’ hair so I grabbed two big bottles. In the meantime, hubby was texting because the Little Girl was badly in need of the wipes already. Rush, rush, rush… wash. Ah, the little stresses and inconveniences of parenthood. Instead of giving in my to tendency to be irked, I thought these are what make parenthood an exciting adventure.
After some dessert at Dunkin’ (coffee for hubby), we drove around the place to scout for some schools for the kids next year. We were quite pleased with a couple of schools we saw. One was particularly impressive and I was awed by the beauty of the surrounding scenery. Their soccer field was nestled right amidst beautiful, lush mountains. What a blessing it would be if our kids can grow up in such a beautiful surrounding. For a while, I worried, too about the kids coping to this big change of moving to a “big” school. Their school right now is such a small community, almost everybody knows everyone else.
After that, we visited our lot at V____. It was a very quiet and peaceful Saturday afternoon. We let the kids play at the playgound/clubhouse for a while. The Little One was tearful as we climbed to our car. She so wanted to swim in the pool but we did not bring any extra clothes. We then drove around a bit, admiring the pretty houses and just taking in the calm of the surroundings.
The whole experience reminded me of the suburbs in the States (based on my friends’ pictures and on what I see on TV, at least). I felt very grateful that we were on our way to achieving this dream. I thanked God for such a blessing and prayed that He would continue to bless us with this gift. I was particularly thankful that hubby and I need not leave our country to be able to enjoy such blessings. We were right at home.
We then braced ourselves for the trip back home. The traffic was heavy and the kids, particularly the Little One was getting irritable and began looking for her yaya. Good thing she fell asleep. I realized it was not easy driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic and my right quads hurt. I did not complain. Silently, I told myself that this was something I had to learn to contend with for the next half-year. Twice a week wouldn’t be so bad. If I needed to go more than twice a week, it would mean having referrals and that would be something to be thankful for.
I’m supposed to start my other clinic next weekend but since my reciepts aren’t ready yet, I hope to be able to ask the secretaries if I can start by December instead.
Oh, I forgot to tell you that the layout for my prescription pads and business cards have been finally sent to me. They looked okay. I can’t wait to get my hands on them.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Baby Steps
Today I ordered my first batch of business cards and prescription pads. I can imagine how thrilled I would be when the delivery comes in tomorrow. I grew up putting name tags on everything… notebooks, books… later when I started going to my high school dorm, things you did not dare imagine being labeled were labeled by my mother dear… sandos, undies, palanggana. You name it, it’s got my name on it!
Sorry sa pagka-OA ko about this. These are teeny-weeny things. Baby steps, I admit. But still steps TOWARDS my dream of starting my own practice so kebs kung OA. Di bale nang nakatunganga muna sa clinic para magbilang ng butiki o maghanap ng agiw.
Kailangan ko na lang maayos ang sa accountant… aaaargh! Para makapagpaskel na ako nung 'Please ask for Receipt'. At mag-ensayo pa sa pagmamaneho ng mag-isa nang hindi naliligaw para di mapadpad sa Pasay or elsewhere dahil sa wrong turn. Hindi madali but i'm slowly getting there. Ajaaaah!
Sorry sa pagka-OA ko about this. These are teeny-weeny things. Baby steps, I admit. But still steps TOWARDS my dream of starting my own practice so kebs kung OA. Di bale nang nakatunganga muna sa clinic para magbilang ng butiki o maghanap ng agiw.
Kailangan ko na lang maayos ang sa accountant… aaaargh! Para makapagpaskel na ako nung 'Please ask for Receipt'. At mag-ensayo pa sa pagmamaneho ng mag-isa nang hindi naliligaw para di mapadpad sa Pasay or elsewhere dahil sa wrong turn. Hindi madali but i'm slowly getting there. Ajaaaah!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
We Are A Spoiled Bunch
Hubby and I are just so thrilled at the Lord’s generosity. Everything, every plan, is slowly falling into place.
Just weeks ago, I felt lost. It felt like standing in the middle of a thick forest. I had no idea where to go… which direction to take. But God has been faithful, as always. He took hold of His bolo and just hacked away, making way, clearing paths for me. And I am truly grateful. Thank You, Lord.
I was happy to have found free, affordable, hassle-free clinic space in this building along ___ avenue. I asked for a Saturday morning slot… and God gave it to me.
I longed to be able to rent clinic space in Laguna because I didn’t have enough funds to lease. The family has more pressing needs and I do not expect to be earning a lot, not in the next couple of years. So hubby and I wanted to keep my overhead to a minimum. Like a surprise gift, it just landed on my lap. There it was - available clinic space, for rent, equipped, decent-looking, with a pleasant secretary. It was free on the days that I wanted, including the slot just before the weekly conferences at the department. Which means I can hold clinic AND attend the conference, all in one go. How great is that?!
Today, hubby and I went to the bank for our appointment regarding our housing loan. A hundred signatures later, we are officially in debt. Seriously, it felt more like being a step closer to our dreams. I trust in our generous God that He would continue to provide for our everyday needs. He has always been so generous to me and my family. He has not only been providing for our needs but for most of our wants as well. Praised be God.
I finally bought myself a black bag. It was pretty and plain enough for my taste. It looked sturdy. It did not bear any mark/brand. And more importantly, at 650 pesos, it was affordable enough. =)
Just weeks ago, I felt lost. It felt like standing in the middle of a thick forest. I had no idea where to go… which direction to take. But God has been faithful, as always. He took hold of His bolo and just hacked away, making way, clearing paths for me. And I am truly grateful. Thank You, Lord.
I was happy to have found free, affordable, hassle-free clinic space in this building along ___ avenue. I asked for a Saturday morning slot… and God gave it to me.
I longed to be able to rent clinic space in Laguna because I didn’t have enough funds to lease. The family has more pressing needs and I do not expect to be earning a lot, not in the next couple of years. So hubby and I wanted to keep my overhead to a minimum. Like a surprise gift, it just landed on my lap. There it was - available clinic space, for rent, equipped, decent-looking, with a pleasant secretary. It was free on the days that I wanted, including the slot just before the weekly conferences at the department. Which means I can hold clinic AND attend the conference, all in one go. How great is that?!
Today, hubby and I went to the bank for our appointment regarding our housing loan. A hundred signatures later, we are officially in debt. Seriously, it felt more like being a step closer to our dreams. I trust in our generous God that He would continue to provide for our everyday needs. He has always been so generous to me and my family. He has not only been providing for our needs but for most of our wants as well. Praised be God.
I finally bought myself a black bag. It was pretty and plain enough for my taste. It looked sturdy. It did not bear any mark/brand. And more importantly, at 650 pesos, it was affordable enough. =)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
On The Bus
Nothing makes me happier than looking at idyllic scenery. Mountains. Soft, wispy clouds amidst light blue sky. Green rice fields that stretch on and on. They remind me of how great it is to be alive.
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Sometimes errands and to-do lists suck the joy out of every day. I jump from one to the other, like short straight lines connecting two dots. I look at the lines and dots and fail to see the whole picture.
**********************************************************************************
Last week, my heart was weighed down by duties, responsibilities. I also suffered from a sense of disapproval. I accused myself of not working hard enough, not doing enough. Where does that accusing voice some from? Whose pointing figure was it? (I have this strong feeling it wasn’t God).
**********************************************************************************
Sometimes errands and to-do lists suck the joy out of every day. I jump from one to the other, like short straight lines connecting two dots. I look at the lines and dots and fail to see the whole picture.
**********************************************************************************
Last week, my heart was weighed down by duties, responsibilities. I also suffered from a sense of disapproval. I accused myself of not working hard enough, not doing enough. Where does that accusing voice some from? Whose pointing figure was it? (I have this strong feeling it wasn’t God).
Friday, November 6, 2009
On Comforting Always and City-Driving
I cannot believe almost three weeks have passed since I last “wrote”. Kaya naman pala I get this feeling of restlessness again. My writing, I mean, my outpouring of thoughts and feelings on paper/keyboard, helps keep me sane. (It makes me a bit uncomfortable saying “my writing” because I do not consider myself a writer). It keeps me anchored and gives me a fresh break from my usual super-nega perspective.
My practice has been slow but swell. I thank God that for the past 2 weeks, I got to earn a bit instead of the usual na “negative pa sa pamasahe”. Teeny-weenie bit talaga. I am practically still living off of the allowance that hubby gives me monthly. Things have been slow that I have not gathered enough guts to go out and buy myself a decent-looking bag. I have been longing for a black, everyday shoulder bag for work. I have seen quite a few but not THE bag. They’re either not pretty enough, not big enough, or more importantly, not affordable enough.
Despite my meager earnings and the long, arduous bus ride from the province back to Manila, there are a few moments that make my decision to practice in my hometown worth it. Still at the top of my list was getting the chance to see my preschool music teacher as patient. She’s 78 but the way she thanked me so profusely, especially after I’ve introduced myself as one of her former students, is enough to fill my heart with so much joy! Even something as simple as a patient’s relative telling me on the phone “umayos po ang pakiramdam ni Nanay, malakas na kumain”. She still does have leukemia. But knowing she feels a bit better makes everything worthwhile. - "To cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always”.
There’s also this one patient who was referred to me because of a non-life-threatening, really minor problem. But she came back to the clinic sooner than scheduled because she needed to talk to someone. She seemed very hopeless and weepy and distraught. I sensed that she was depressed… possibly postpartum. I couldn’t do more for her blood problem (she was already taking her medications) but I think I did more for her by listening to her, acknowledging her fears and feelings. In the end, I urged her and her husband to seek the help of a psychiatrist. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her come back next week.
Covering for my former mentor has been keeping me busy since yesterday. Medyo madami patients na naka-admit. I am grateful that she has kept her out-patient schedule to a minimum. Madaming araw na wala clinic. Like today. I was able to go home early and take a much-needed afternoon nap. I have been having flu-like symptoms since yesterday and had to really drag myself to work this morning. Three Bioflu’s later and I am feeling much better. Plus, tonight, hubby is coming back from Jakarta and that alone is enough to actually make me feel better. I think I can never get used to him being so far away from home, kahit pa short periods lang.
Yesterday was a milestone for me as it was the first time ever that I drove myself to work in Manila. Mare, mahirap ha! It’s not even half as fun as I thought it would be. The long stretch of Quezon Avenue almost drove me crazy with the unpredictable U-turns (I wonder if the U turns are actually better than having stoplights at every corner). Kaloka. Pati mga jeep at bus na nagigitgitan. I, being my usual, ok-ok self, wanted to stick to my lane (middle lane, non-committal, haha). But golly, it seemed that those lines/lanes painted on the roads were useless. Find your own place lang talaga. As one resident told me, “suggestions lang yun, mam”. This morning I was so tempted to take a cab to make my life less stressful. But I saw the gray clouds and looked back to the time when I stood endlessly waiting for a cab so… hay sige. Go na! After a few close encounters, I survived. Praise God.
My practice has been slow but swell. I thank God that for the past 2 weeks, I got to earn a bit instead of the usual na “negative pa sa pamasahe”. Teeny-weenie bit talaga. I am practically still living off of the allowance that hubby gives me monthly. Things have been slow that I have not gathered enough guts to go out and buy myself a decent-looking bag. I have been longing for a black, everyday shoulder bag for work. I have seen quite a few but not THE bag. They’re either not pretty enough, not big enough, or more importantly, not affordable enough.
Despite my meager earnings and the long, arduous bus ride from the province back to Manila, there are a few moments that make my decision to practice in my hometown worth it. Still at the top of my list was getting the chance to see my preschool music teacher as patient. She’s 78 but the way she thanked me so profusely, especially after I’ve introduced myself as one of her former students, is enough to fill my heart with so much joy! Even something as simple as a patient’s relative telling me on the phone “umayos po ang pakiramdam ni Nanay, malakas na kumain”. She still does have leukemia. But knowing she feels a bit better makes everything worthwhile. - "To cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always”.
There’s also this one patient who was referred to me because of a non-life-threatening, really minor problem. But she came back to the clinic sooner than scheduled because she needed to talk to someone. She seemed very hopeless and weepy and distraught. I sensed that she was depressed… possibly postpartum. I couldn’t do more for her blood problem (she was already taking her medications) but I think I did more for her by listening to her, acknowledging her fears and feelings. In the end, I urged her and her husband to seek the help of a psychiatrist. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her come back next week.
Covering for my former mentor has been keeping me busy since yesterday. Medyo madami patients na naka-admit. I am grateful that she has kept her out-patient schedule to a minimum. Madaming araw na wala clinic. Like today. I was able to go home early and take a much-needed afternoon nap. I have been having flu-like symptoms since yesterday and had to really drag myself to work this morning. Three Bioflu’s later and I am feeling much better. Plus, tonight, hubby is coming back from Jakarta and that alone is enough to actually make me feel better. I think I can never get used to him being so far away from home, kahit pa short periods lang.
Yesterday was a milestone for me as it was the first time ever that I drove myself to work in Manila. Mare, mahirap ha! It’s not even half as fun as I thought it would be. The long stretch of Quezon Avenue almost drove me crazy with the unpredictable U-turns (I wonder if the U turns are actually better than having stoplights at every corner). Kaloka. Pati mga jeep at bus na nagigitgitan. I, being my usual, ok-ok self, wanted to stick to my lane (middle lane, non-committal, haha). But golly, it seemed that those lines/lanes painted on the roads were useless. Find your own place lang talaga. As one resident told me, “suggestions lang yun, mam”. This morning I was so tempted to take a cab to make my life less stressful. But I saw the gray clouds and looked back to the time when I stood endlessly waiting for a cab so… hay sige. Go na! After a few close encounters, I survived. Praise God.
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