It shames me that I dare to feel and think this way when everything in life is going well. Everyone in the family is healthy (save for my tinnitus). There is food on the table. There are two sets of helping hands. Our new house is almost done. And all are at peace.
This past week brought with it feelings of emptiness and discontent. As silly as it may sound, I am fraught with worry that because everything is going very well, something really terrible is bound to happen. It will pounce on me like a sharp-toothed predator and leave me stunned. Will I die a sudden death in a car crash? Will someone in the family fall seriously ill? This feeling of dread leaves me drained of happiness and energy. Knowing how crazy it all is makes it even doubly hard. How silly can a supposedly educated person get?
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