Ah, finally. Some quiet time. One enjoys this moment, sitting at the desk with no sound but the whir of the electric fan blades.
Since the yayas have unexpectedly left on Valentine’s day, I have become too busy that the lines that separate one day from the next have become a blur. I am thankful that one of the yayas has come back about two weeks ago. Still, I found myself constantly moving from one activity to the next, driving from one place to the another, able to keep still only for the duration of the few minutes between the time I lay my head on my pillow and the moment I fall asleep. So far my alone and “quiet” time has been the hours I spent driving to and from my clinic/s south of Manila.
And it’s not even because I have a thriving practice. In one of my clinics, patients have been few and far between. Referrals have been rare… like rain during this season of El Nino.
One tries to keep the optimism and to remain hopeful. Still, concerns can feel like a heavy rock tied around my heart, weighing me down.
At the risk of sounding hypocritical, I must say that it isn’t just about money. Not that I don’t need it! Thankfully though, hubby’s work has been far more reliable. For years,he has been keeping our family well-fed and sheltered.
It is about the need for certain things that money cannot buy. The need for things like… fulfillment. The feeling of being wanted and needed. The need for reassurance that one’s decision has been right all along despite the many objections and criticisms from closest loved ones and friends. The right field. The right place. The right choice.
It feels like passing through an arid desert. No stream lies in sight. The thirst, no matter how hard one tries to ignore, has become almost unbearable. But I trudge on knowing that ahead of me lies the oasis that has been promised.
Showing posts with label growing old (up). Show all posts
Showing posts with label growing old (up). Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Friday, December 11, 2009
On Beauty and Aging
In high school, I took pride in the fact that I was low-maintenance. All I needed was shampoo and bath soap and that was it. A classmate asked me what I was using to clean my face and I was happy to say, “Wala, tubig lang”. For a while, I tried hopping on the bandwagon and used Biore just like all the other girls in the dorm. But it left my skin feeling so dry and taut so I threw it out.
Since last year, I have begun adding more and more products to my daily regimen. Part of aging, I should say. Just a decade ago, I thought I would not allow myself to turn into one of those women who stared at the mirror and fretted over every line and freckle. Now that I’m a little past my mid-30’s, I find myself watching out for my crow’s feet… about to make its debut, inevitably.
Here is a quick rundown of the things I try (so hard) to use on a daily basis:
1. VMV Hypoallergenics Armada Face Cover (SPF30) – during residency, I had this co-resident who so diligently applied her Banana Boat Sunblock on her face every single morning. It didn’t matter if she had only an hour of sleep the night before or that she was about to start a 36-hour-duty with no chance whatsoever of being out in the sun. She put it on. And her skin looked great. Wish I’d started using sunblock sooner.
2. Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser – I use this to clean my face. At first, it didn’t feel like it was doing any actual cleaning because it was scentless and made no foam. But I noticed that I broke out less often when I tried to wash my face with it before going to bed (I know, I know).
3. Celeteque Facial Moisturizer – my skin always has been on the dry side. But I could never have the discipline to put on moisturizer, especially since I’ve spent the latter half of my life in aircon-less dorms that could be really humid sometimes. Again, I wish I had started this sooner. Better late than never!
4. The Body Shop Wise Woman Defensive Hand Cream (SPF15) – this was a very recent purchase; got wind of it from one of my favorite blogs. Though I was often mistaken to be younger than my actual age (a disadvantage in my profession: young = inexperienced), I look in the mirror and see that my hands are probably the oldest part of my body. All those years of washing with soaps and alcohols in the hospital have left my hands dry and wrinkly. This cream, true to its promise, “nourishes and softens” without the sticky, gooey feeling that other lotions have. Again, it’s a late discovery but I hope it will be “defensive” enough to do its job.
5. Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream – I seldom use this on my face because it’s kinda thick and sticky. But it really does the job so I reserve it for days that are extra cool and dry and I make sure not to use it in the days before my period. (Yes, my skin changes with my cycle and yes, at my age, I still break out on the chin pre-menstrual).
6. Apollo Petroleum Jelly – for my lips. Two words: dry and chapped. Even my kids, unfortunately, seem to have inherited this from me. Poor things. But I’ve started teaching them how to use this and even my three-year-old comes to me sometimes to ask for her “jelly ace” for her lips.
Well, this sums it up. A friend of mine gave me Origins Eye Cream. I used it for a few days but found the process of gently applying/dabbing it on the "skin around the eyes" too tedious. And it smelled like the bark of a tree so I wasn't too crazy about it. Maybe I'll change my mind when the crow's feet starts to show :p
About make-up, I started putting it on just last month. My mother almost fell on her knees to thank God when, while malling, I asked her to come help find me blush-on and lipstick. I’m such a late bloomer. Anyway, it was more of a necessity than vanity because patients were always commenting that I looked so young and “nene”. Again, as a doctor… it’s not something to be flattered about. So I had to learn the tricks of making myself look a bit more “alive” and mature. The irony of it all.
Since last year, I have begun adding more and more products to my daily regimen. Part of aging, I should say. Just a decade ago, I thought I would not allow myself to turn into one of those women who stared at the mirror and fretted over every line and freckle. Now that I’m a little past my mid-30’s, I find myself watching out for my crow’s feet… about to make its debut, inevitably.
Here is a quick rundown of the things I try (so hard) to use on a daily basis:
1. VMV Hypoallergenics Armada Face Cover (SPF30) – during residency, I had this co-resident who so diligently applied her Banana Boat Sunblock on her face every single morning. It didn’t matter if she had only an hour of sleep the night before or that she was about to start a 36-hour-duty with no chance whatsoever of being out in the sun. She put it on. And her skin looked great. Wish I’d started using sunblock sooner.
2. Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser – I use this to clean my face. At first, it didn’t feel like it was doing any actual cleaning because it was scentless and made no foam. But I noticed that I broke out less often when I tried to wash my face with it before going to bed (I know, I know).
3. Celeteque Facial Moisturizer – my skin always has been on the dry side. But I could never have the discipline to put on moisturizer, especially since I’ve spent the latter half of my life in aircon-less dorms that could be really humid sometimes. Again, I wish I had started this sooner. Better late than never!
4. The Body Shop Wise Woman Defensive Hand Cream (SPF15) – this was a very recent purchase; got wind of it from one of my favorite blogs. Though I was often mistaken to be younger than my actual age (a disadvantage in my profession: young = inexperienced), I look in the mirror and see that my hands are probably the oldest part of my body. All those years of washing with soaps and alcohols in the hospital have left my hands dry and wrinkly. This cream, true to its promise, “nourishes and softens” without the sticky, gooey feeling that other lotions have. Again, it’s a late discovery but I hope it will be “defensive” enough to do its job.
5. Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream – I seldom use this on my face because it’s kinda thick and sticky. But it really does the job so I reserve it for days that are extra cool and dry and I make sure not to use it in the days before my period. (Yes, my skin changes with my cycle and yes, at my age, I still break out on the chin pre-menstrual).
6. Apollo Petroleum Jelly – for my lips. Two words: dry and chapped. Even my kids, unfortunately, seem to have inherited this from me. Poor things. But I’ve started teaching them how to use this and even my three-year-old comes to me sometimes to ask for her “jelly ace” for her lips.
Well, this sums it up. A friend of mine gave me Origins Eye Cream. I used it for a few days but found the process of gently applying/dabbing it on the "skin around the eyes" too tedious. And it smelled like the bark of a tree so I wasn't too crazy about it. Maybe I'll change my mind when the crow's feet starts to show :p
About make-up, I started putting it on just last month. My mother almost fell on her knees to thank God when, while malling, I asked her to come help find me blush-on and lipstick. I’m such a late bloomer. Anyway, it was more of a necessity than vanity because patients were always commenting that I looked so young and “nene”. Again, as a doctor… it’s not something to be flattered about. So I had to learn the tricks of making myself look a bit more “alive” and mature. The irony of it all.
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