Oasis

Ah, finally. Some quiet time. One enjoys this moment, sitting at the desk with no sound but the whir of the electric fan blades.

Since the yayas have unexpectedly left on Valentine’s day, I have become too busy that the lines that separate one day from the next have become a blur. I am thankful that one of the yayas has come back about two weeks ago. Still, I found myself constantly moving from one activity to the next, driving from one place to the another, able to keep still only for the duration of the few minutes between the time I lay my head on my pillow and the moment I fall asleep. So far my alone and “quiet” time has been the hours I spent driving to and from my clinic/s south of Manila.

And it’s not even because I have a thriving practice. In one of my clinics, patients have been few and far between. Referrals have been rare… like rain during this season of El Nino.

One tries to keep the optimism and to remain hopeful. Still, concerns can feel like a heavy rock tied around my heart, weighing me down.

At the risk of sounding hypocritical, I must say that it isn’t just about money. Not that I don’t need it! Thankfully though, hubby’s work has been far more reliable. For years,he has been keeping our family well-fed and sheltered.

It is about the need for certain things that money cannot buy. The need for things like… fulfillment. The feeling of being wanted and needed. The need for reassurance that one’s decision has been right all along despite the many objections and criticisms from closest loved ones and friends. The right field. The right place. The right choice.

It feels like passing through an arid desert. No stream lies in sight. The thirst, no matter how hard one tries to ignore, has become almost unbearable. But I trudge on knowing that ahead of me lies the oasis that has been promised.