Lately, I’ve been having recurring dreams with themes centered on significant people in my past. I wonder why. Some were about these people having a great interest in sharing and living their lives with me. I, on the other hand, had an excuse for not being able to reciprocate such as being engaged to be married to someone else, or simply being uninterested.
After such dreams, I find myself spending the greater part of the day thinking about these people. How are they doing now? Are they living happy lives? Where are they?
When I allow myself to indulge in such thoughts, oftentimes I end up wondering about what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. What if I had the courage to show my feelings or, at least, show interest? What if I were able to conquer my self-consciousness and feelings of inferiority? What could have happened had I dared to make mistakes and risk breaking my heart in the process? Was the game of playing it safe worth it?
Such queries bear no answers and can be very tiring. Surely, these do not make positive contributions to my mental health. I stop. I take a deep breath. And I thank God for the great love that surrounds me every single day. I am grateful for such huge blessings too many to count.
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